What IS a f*ck boy exactly? It varies from girl to girl, but by personal definition, he’s a babe that knows how to play with your head and toy with your heart… until that loses appeal and he’s ready to GTFO. Lead her on and let her down, it’s what they do best. A f*ck boy almost always has a superiority complex, so chances are he’ll be hot, rich, or a combination of the two—deadly when coupled with his undeniable charm. I can spot a f*ck boy from a mile away… but that doesn’t always mean that I actually stay away like I should. In fact, more often than not, I find myself voluntarily walking right into their traps. (I like a little drama, sue me.) But what about all of our fav f*ck boys on screen? Do they live up to the same archetype as the f*ck boys in the real world? Absolutely. Here are my 5 hottest fictional f*ck boys and why I love to hate them / hate to love them.
Patrick Bateman, American Psycho
Patrick Bateman is intense, sophisticated, and impeccably dressed. He’s a seasoned businessman, but don’t let his commitment to his career fool you—it’s the only true and constant in his life. He loves scotch after a long day with his buddies, a little coke at the clubs with his clients, and even a hot date if he’s in the mood. He’s never been affectionate in public and never will be…. but when he slips you a wink across the table, you both know what cums next.
He’s hot AF—you know it and he definitely knows it. His bod is his prized possession and he takes pride in every aspect of his appearance. Honestly, if he could have sex with himself, he probably would. But if you’re skinny, blonde, and submissive—you’ll do.
He also expects you to always look your best. Beauty is surface level for this bad boy and he has no problem reminding you to step your game up. He might be the star of the show, but he expects his supporting cast to follow suit. After all, you’re prettier than that.
In the end, this f*ck boy only cares about himself—no surprise there. If you’re not adding any direct value to his life, you’ll be “disposed” of accordingly. A fling with this fuck boy will be psycho and short lived, but one you’ll still find yourself fantasizing about for weeks.
Jordan Belfort, Wolf of Wallstreet
Jordan Belfort dreams BIG. He’s a man with a plan, a leader, and everyone wants to be him. From the outside looking in, he’s got life all figured out. Everything he touches turns to gold. He plays to win and doesn’t tolerate losers in his circle. If you’re looking for “big dick energy,” you’ve certainly found it.
He’s a smooth talker, so expect to hear anything and everything you’ve always wanted to hear. His money and power may have initially enticed you, but his words are what reel you all the way in. Did I mention he’s also the life of the party? Everyone loves him, but he claims he only “loves” you. Swoon.
Unfortunately the mood of this f*ck boy hinges not only on his actual success, but on how others perceive his success. One bad day in the market could lead to a complete and total spiral out of control. He can use his words to destroy just as easily as he can use them to seduce, so beware. Land in his path and you may be the one to face the brunt of his anger.
If you do escape his wrath, chances are he’ll spend the evening taking his anger out on the town—a bottle of the finest booze he can find on one arm and a high-priced prostitute on the other. He’s got to exert his power somehow, and you’ll be the one left to deal with him in the morning. This will get old eventually… but you’ll still text back when he needs a date to the next big gala.
Don Draper, Mad Men
Don Draper is an ad man. He’s creative, intelligent, and experienced at what feels like everything. His peers admire him, but so does everyone else. He demands attention in the boardroom and everywhere else he goes. If you’re looking to sleep your way to the top, get in line.
In my opinion, Draper is less of a f*ck boy and more of a f*ck MAN. Unlike a f*ck boy who may be blind to the fact that he is a f*ck boy, Draper knows exactly what he’s doing. He can effortlessly control a room full of men, women, or children—it doesn’t matter. He is strategic, confident, and someone you feel you can truly trust.
Aside from the whole “wife and family” thing. Once you get beyond that, there’s not a whole lot wrong with this guy…. but that’s a pretty big thing considering the number of girls throwing themselves on his desk at work everyday. He exudes sexual energy from his pores…. so, I get it. But still.
No one’s perfect, and this f*ck man is no exception. He cheats, smokes like a chimney, and doesn’t take “no” for an answer. If you won’t give him what he wants, he won’t argue, he’ll simply find someone who will. You know he’ll never leave his wife for you, or any of his other 20 office girls, but that won’t stop you from daydreaming about running away with him…. Or taking extra long coffee breaks…. Or asking for a light, even though you don’t smoke….
- Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
Not a big fan of the show, but I am a huge fan of Chuck Bass. Designer suits, smug smiles, and plenty of daddy’s money makes this teenage heart throb pretty irresistible. Not a whole lot to say here other than LOOK AT THAT FACE, GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY…. One roll of those big, beautiful eyes and he’ll have even the most secure girl happily begging for his validation.
The best part about Chuck is that, deep down, he is actually the one constantly seeking validation. Unlike his counterparts, Draper and Bateman, Bass’ sense of confidence is a total facade fed by his handlers and the materialistic society around him. Chuck craves reassurance and when he doesn’t get it, he falls apart and puts a wall up… or attacks.
When it’s not totally annoying, it’s actually sweet. Treat this f*ck boy with love and affection and you’ll find yourself on the receiving end of promises, gifts, and stellar oral sex. Even if it’s all temporary, he craves closeness and will do whatever it takes to keep you near.
However, his flame burns hot and fast. Before long, he will likely seek validation outside of your relationship and start the search for his next “true” love. He loves the honeymoon phase and there’s no telling if he’ll ever truly be content moving beyond it with anyone. Hold on tight, because this fuck boy is always planning his next escape. What felt like a potential longterm romance will quickly fade into a sweet memory.
- Mr. Big, Sex and the City
To be honest, I actually hate Mr. Big. I would put him into the f*ck man category along with Draper because he knowingly led Carrie on for over a decade before he had the nerve to ditch her at the altar. He almost got away without proposing to her at all, in true f*ck man style, but caved against his better judgement and allowed her to plan an extravagant wedding he knew he’d never actually attend.
From afar, I kind of see the appeal. He’s older, more experienced, and always keeps Carrie at arm’s length. The thrill of the chase is a major part of the draw when it comes to Mr. Big. For years, Carrie chased this man all over the world. She competed with other women. She never truly knew where she stood. He would disappear and just as she was moving on, he’d pop back up.
Mr. Big did more than just ghost Carrie, he haunted her. This type of f*ck boy is extremely toxic because he will sacrifice you to satisfy himself, emotionally or sexually, without a second thought. Why? Because he has absolutely no idea what he really wants.
This f*ck man needs you to conform to his life completely before he can possibly consider anything semi-serious with you. It’s about his comfort, his happiness, and his priorities. If he patronizes or demeans you, he may apologize to save face… but he’ll ultimately leave you wondering when your time will be up. He’ll dangle the relationship in front of you as collateral to force the changes he wants to see, or eventually he’ll just leave you at the altar.
So, yes—all of these fictional f*ck boys are total babes. But these aren’t your knights in shining armor. These are the fun but f*cked up frogs you kiss before you find your prince. Know your worth and when enough is enough. Never allow a f*ck boy to change your perception of yourself. And always remember, you deserve a happy ending.
Who are your fav fictional f*ck boys? Drop them in the comments!